Story of a life

 I had a dream today. I woke up in a trance. I saw Khala Shadab , Nano Jameela , Nana Abu Saleem , Aiysha Khala, Nano Cheemi , Nano Khalida , Mamu Shahid, Mamu Mobeen, Mumani Humaira, Abdullah - son of Mamu Kashif but in the dream he was Mamu Mobeen's son, Khala khalida, Salman bhai. I woke up not remembering for a few moments that most of them are dead. And have been for some time.  It broke my heart. I miss them. I didn't even realize I missed them. That really threw me off.  I have spent the day trying not to think about it, pushing the discomfort away. But the trouble is, it doesn't go away. It stays there. out of sight. Under the rug. Always there.  I am daring to not run away. To face the discomfort. To embrace it. To feel my feelings. To sit with them. Not work them away. Pause. Listen to my heart. Feel. With my heart, my body, my soul. Cry the tears. See the unhealed scars. The sore spots that hurt with the slightest of touch.  I miss my family. I miss ...

October 18, 2021 1) Know your fertility before marriage 2) Each marriage is as unique as the people in it. No one size fits all. People are different at different times in their lives and different people bring out different sides in others. So general advice, from friends and family, leaders, social media, even self-help books dent apply unless it is for your specific personality type or refers to blanket truth, for example, "abuse is wrong". Custom tailored advice form a well-intentioned and smart person of knowledge is the way to go 3) Drink water 4) Don't eat your sorrows or try to drown them out. Feel your feelings. Same goes for happy feelings 5) Faith is stronger than everything else 6) Work to be and stay financially independent 7) Save money 8) In the end, most things don't matter. Figure out what does and don't sweat the rest if you can 9) Life is transient. As are most things in it. Only our deeds and God are permanent. Only thing that erases the bad fo...

Yesterday I finished my first reading of the Quran since I finished my Ijaza. Alhumdulillah.  Yesterday I got divorced. Alhumdulillah.  So ends my decade of divorce. Alhumdulillah.  Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I am going to make this life an amazing one if its the last thing I do :D Today. Today: I started my next reading of the Quran.  I ordered my credit reports. I have started my journey towards having good credit.  I have started planning for where I am going next.