I offered him a watery smile back and said wistfully, "the Spain that was..." "I know, baby", he smiled warmly, walked over and planted a swift kiss on my head. "Where's Sophie?" He asked. "Soph? Must be out with Sasha and Lisa. I think last I heard they were whispering about sneaking over to the shop"
*****
I had adopted Sophie when she was 2 and I was just starting out my career as an attorney. Lisa and Sasha were Mark's twin daughters. His wife had passed away three months after their birth in a car accident. Mark and I first met when I moved to the small town they lived in looking to give Sophie a more homely, suburban upbringing. Lisa, Sasha and Sophie were all classmates that third grade year and had stayed that way until now. We lived across the street from each other and our daughters were practically raised together.
It was three years ago that I saw Mark in the parking lot of the local Masjid. I remember being really surprised and him being really embarrassed as if he was caught red-handed. I remember the girls running to each other and me approaching Mark with questioning eyes but pretending to not really care. I told him it was nice of him to bring the girls out here. It was a sham really because the girls were often at the Masjid. He looked at me sheepishly and said that it was actually for him that he had come, that he had actually been secretly attending for about a year now, that he had actually brought the girls with him today because he wanted to take his shahadah but chickened out when he saw that the local college's MSA was having a party at the Masjid. He wanted it to be solitary spiritual experience and not put on a show. His delivery seemed rushed and he didn't quiet look me in the eye when he spoke (which was really uncharacteristic of him).
I did not know how to react. I tried to process my thoughts so I could use appropriate words. "Oh, I didn't know you were interested..." "Yeah, I...I didn't want you to find out this way. I planned to tell you and Sophie but..." He interjected but was cut off by Sophie who piped: "Oh, I knew." She shrugged looking towards her childhood best friends. "Of course." Said Mark with a gentle smile. I gave Sophie a look of disbelief. "You were keeping a secret from me?" "You said I could keep a good secret, just not a bad secret" She said in the same bubbly way of hers. I smiled shaking my head.
"Well, okay, Congratulations." I turned towards Mark again. "I guess maybe you can hang back after Isha in sha Allah and chat with the Imam" I offered lamely. For some reason I felt really awkward around him at that moment. I had known him for years and felt a little betrayed that I was the only one who didn't know about the big leap. "Yeah, In sha Allah" He replied and walked towards the masjid calling to the girls to slow down who were racing ahead of him.
Late that night, I received a text message from him asking if we could chat a little the following morning. Mark and I both took our girls for a walk each morning to the park close by. We passed each other on the track often but had never actually hung out together at that time. "Sure" I replied, a little surprised.
The next morning, he asked if we could actually sit on one of the benches along the track. "Okaaay" I said, following him.
"Goodness, I feel like I am sixteen right now", he began.
"Well I have heard that taking one's shahadah erases all sins so you know I am surprised you don't feel like a baby" I joked. "By the way, Congrats again."
He smiled, shaking his head.
"Thank you. You know, I remember the day y'all moved into that house very clearly. I stood in my window watching for a little bit before I came over to say hi. Even when I came over and was talking to you, I kept looking for a husband to emerge but no one did. I found myself hoping at that moment that there was none." He said staring into the air before turning to me suddenly and saying, "You know you are really scary?"
"What?" I burst out laughing. "Even the girls make jokes on me"
"Yes, they do, but they are really scared to put a toe out of line should you find out and boy, don't you always find out" He said laughing. "But you scare me too"
"Really?" I said, inwardly rolling my eyes. "Is that why you are always laughing at me?"
"There's a certain fierceness about you. Like a lioness. Don't get me wrong, I mean, I know I can and have come to you with whatever is on my mind and you are always thoughtful and great. But I am butchering this...I guess what I am trying to say is, that since that first day, I have tried to know you, learn you, I first discovered the masjid following you, remember?" We both burst out laughing.
I had caught him following me to the masjid shortly after we had moved in and become acquainted. I was babysitting his girls for the second or third time that evening and had told him that I'll take them to the Masjid with me. When we got to the Masjid, I found him driving by. I was indignant. I called him immediately. At first he pretended he had not followed us but then confessed. He said he was just really worried. I refused to babysit the girls for a long time after that.
"Like I was saying, you know, our girls are practically sisters. I have always wanted this but it has taken me a long time to pluck up the courage. It took a lot to take my shahadah last night and I thought that while I am on the streak, I should just dive head first and do this too...will you marry me?"
"You are scared of marrying me?" I asked.
"Woman, is that all you got out of my speech?" He said indignantly.
I smiled. "We should discuss this with the girls first."
"Yeah. But I wanted to know what you'd say before I got their hopes up."
"I...I...I...phew...wow"
"In all the years I have known you, I have never seen you lost for words"
"It happens more often than you think"
"So?"
"I think we should talk to the girls." I said getting up.
"So…that's a yes from you?” he asked, puzzled.
"Yes", I turned, smiled and walked away.
*****
It was Sophie's 'union day' today. We celebrated a union day to mark the day she had become my daughter. She didn't have a birth certificate when I had first adopted her. Her parents who had died in a car crash were driving drunk when the crash happened and didn't have their IDs on them. When the police ran the car's plates, they found it was a stolen car. Sophie ended up with the Child Protective Services and was placed for adoption after the CPS couldn't find any relatives to take care of her.
A day after her Union day was Mark's Shahadah-versary, three days after that was the twins' birthday and later the same month was our wedding anniversary. To mark all these events we took a weekend off that month every year to celebrate. Each year one person chose to pick what they wanted the family to do for the weekend. The first year that we got married, Sasha got to pick since she is the youngest (ten minutes younger than Lisa). She wanted a big party. This year was Sophie's turn, being the third oldest and she had said she'll let us know her decision after 'contemplation' and 'wise counsel' which I understood to mean an internet search and some head-butting with her sisters and Fred. Fred was my business partner and old family friend. He ran 'tea-text' a bookshop/ cafe that I was a silent partner in. The girls all had summer jobs at the cafe and were found there most nights working on their homework.
"Alright then, I'll go find them" Mark planted another kiss on my head before heading out. I closed the book and stared after him, smiling. I was 45, worked part-time at a small public-interest law firm, had three great children and was married to my best friend. I sighed happily. I imagined myself telling my girls, “Sometimes, you CAN have it all. What matters is what your definition of 'all' is and how willing you are to work, wait and trust Allah for it.”
*****
Comments
Post a Comment