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 Not black enough

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PRINCESS ALERT!

An African American male who looked slightly older than me was shooting daggers at me with his eyes. I figured it out because of the burning feeling you get when somebody has been staring at you too long. I looked up at him questioningly as I usually do when somebody is being that rude. In response, he left his seat and came and stood next to me still looking murderous. I have to admit that made me really nervous in my heart as I thought why on earth did I have to confront him etc etc. A minute passed. Him: You an African princess or somethin’? Me: Excuse me? Him: Nah, you too white for that. You are not Arab, are you? Me: No, I am not. But why does it matter? Him: Where you coming from? Me: Why? Him: No, Ah mean where you from? You looking like a princess or somethin’. Me: Is that a bad thing? Him: Are you a princess? Me: No. *trying to suppress my amused smile by this point - he looked like he wanted to choke me to death because I looked like a princess...
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Anas

  I run outside my breath, a gasp. My feet stop, in shock. The moon is full tonight. A breeze slides over my skin. The tide… still crashes on the shore. I try to breathe. I can’t. How has the time not stopped… tonight? I go to the sea. We sit. We wonder. We reminisce. We wonder how many school lunches they spent to fell… a man of his might. The sea takes me in her arms, whispers words of comfort just as meaningless tonight as they have been, for years. He was a man I never met, but with all the pride, and ferocity, of a sister I call him my brother. He was a man I mourn tonight, as the sea’s waves lap at my feet. Blanketed by the dark, there is no one around. I wish I could drown, that the sea will swallow me whole. I feel helpless. The weight of the world… is heavy tonight. I give charity in his name. I pray for him. I hold him in my heart. Every tear that falls from my eyes carries his name, like a cherished pearl. Morning takes me by surprise. ...
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24

When I was fourteen, we learnt about five-year administrative plans in social studies. They are the plans that governments make to keep the countries on track short-term. I thought if it can work for a nations life, it can also work for an individual's life. I was a big fan of one=many, individual=nation philosophy at that time. My journals from that phase are full of such theories. So in the summer of 2005, I wrote my first five-year plan. I then divided it into yearly goals, then monthly goals and then weekly and so on. I achieved most of the things. The plan had worked. On my 20th birthday, I wrote my second five-year plan. Having seen results the first time, I was more motivated this time and better at setting goals (all that about language and achievability...the whole shebang). Tomorrow is my twenty-fourth birthday. And I am nowhere close achieving anything I had planned to. Basically I have nothing to how for all the investment (of time, effort and money) made fo...
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