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34

 I am 34 years old. I have been for a few months. I am supposed to have life figured out. Right? Wrong!Or at least wrong for me since I very clearly do not have life, or anything figured out. I think I had more answers when I was half my age. Now, I mostly just have questions. Unending, unanswered questions. Memories. Dreams. Hopes. BittersweeT. Unfulfilled. Broken. Much like unrequited love. I feel ike I loved life, but it didn't love me back. That is my biggest unrequited love and by now I seem to have collected a few. I have broken a few hearts but little did I know of karma when I did that. Is it Karma or is it just life? That people we love don't love us back and the people who love us face the same with us? See? questions, questions, unending questions.


I miss my family in Pakistan or at least what I thought they were or family was. I miss my grandmother. 20 years and it still hurts, feels as fresh as her body is sitting in that baramda even now.   Fresh. Raw. I remember her touch. I miss her snuggles. I remember everything so vividly that it takes y breath away. He cotton soft hair, he searching eyes. I miss my nani Amma. Inna Lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajioon.

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