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Expressions



Towards the end of high school, I interned with a non-profit which offered an internship for high school law students. The internship provided basic exposure to the legal system and how it works. On the last day, we took a field trip to see live court proceedings at the local Magistrates' courts.

The case we were to observe was a murder case where evidence was being presented that day. Since a feudal lord was involved, the place was packed. We were a large group so our team leaders decided to find another murder case where evidence was presented and send half of us there. The one they managed to find at such short notice was the case of a rape victim's murder. We were told that the case proceedings might be too graphic and we would need our parents' consent to attend them. Most of the interns were denied permission by their parents. I, being 'lucky' enough to be relatively independent, was free to go should I so desired. My curiosity led the way and there I was with one of the team leaders and three other interns.

When we entered a doctor was giving testimony. She was the one who had attended to the victim when she had been first taken to the hospital. Since the crime scene had been a small town, she was also the doctor who had performed the autopsy on the body. The details are not crystal clear in my mind but as far as I recall the victim had been an only daughter with three brothers and a father in her family. Her mother had recently passed away. She was attending medical school in the nearby city and was visiting home when the incident happened. The father and all brothers (two older, one younger) were daily-wage laborers who were supporting her through med school while putting their lives on hold.

She had been attacked one afternoon while walking home and had not said a word of it to anyone. The family took her to the closest hospital when she fainted few days later. She had died six days later. Cause of death was said to be wide-spread infection and internal bleeding. She was found to be two to three weeks pregnant. The family was astonished when the doctor had confronted them about the police report for the rape. They had had no idea. When asked, while alive, the victim had been unintelligible in response.

As the doctor went on to describe the intimate details, I surveyed the small, jam-packed court room. The doctor and I were the only two females. I looked to my side at the father and the younger brother who had come to attend the hearing. They only wanted their daughter and sister back, their eyes said. And to take her away, far away from this ugly place. The sheer pain, anger, frustration and helplessness on their faces was so palpable that I had to look away.

As fate would have it, my eyes landed on the accused. I froze. The circulation actually seemed to stop. Both their faces were adorned with wide, victorious smirks. Like they were proud of the honor of being accused of rape and murder. Disgusted to my core, I looked at the judge. I saw a similar, slimy smirk on his face. While listening intently to the details, he seemed to be enjoying it like some sick form of necrophilia. I felt choked. Stifled.

I couldn't bear to be there any longer. I had to step out. My team lead and one of the interns followed me. The other two seemed to be enjoying themselves. The two who had stepped out after me didn't say or ask anything. They seemed to understand.


Funny thing is, I do not remember the names or faces of any one but the judge's, the expressions on the accused and the victim's family's faces. Those expressions are what flash past my mind every time I hear or read the term 'legal procedure'.




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