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Nauseous

 I feel nauseous. I look down at my hands. I see them shaking. I try to remember the last time I ate. It was over 12 hours ago. A slice of cold, hard, thin-crust margherita pizza and four dumplings a few hours before that. I have had a cup of herbal tea since then as well. I want to eat, but my eyes are closing on me. I have been awake for about twenty hours now. Every pore of my body wants to sleep.

I want to call out my children's names, ask them to get me something form the kitchen downstairs. My aching body just cannot be dragged down yet again today. It has been a long day. I close my eye sin exhaustion. I remember I had some coffee ice cream in the afternoon but it had made me nauseous too so I had stopped eating it. I wrestle with the beast in me that wants to be the master of all, in need of none. I do not want to ask. 

The mind goes blank. I am unable to write anymore. My eyes droop shut. Sleep is elusive. I sit in the dark. Alone. Nauseous.  

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